“You are the result of the five people that hang out with you the most”….WRONG!


I heard this phrase several times and I’m definitely sure that you heard it at least once, and I must be perfectly honest, the first time I heard it I thought to myself: “This is so true…” the phrase really got me and I remember even posting it in my Facebook Wall… I told myself that must be true! Of course people around you influence you a lot! The second time I heard the phrase, I actually thought a little bit more about it, deeply analyzed it and I came to these points:

First, in my situation …being a loner … I couldn’t define my 5 people, it’s not that I’m an hermit, I have people around me or course, but only 3 came to my mind, and the after thinking that maybe person number 3 was not very close to me anymore, I got it sized to 2 people finally (between family and friends)…. But the number of people is not the point of the blog, so let’s continue…

Before, let me tell you the story the prompt my analysis of this phrase, it’s a long story but I’ll summarize it as much as I can….

–          One day I got a visit from a high school friend who I haven’t seen for more than a decade (please try not to guess my age…but yes I’m not that young) . After some little talk we found that we had a friend in common, well it was a work colleague for her but actually a good friend for me … she was actually very perplexed that I was her friend, actually like she couldn’t believe it…it was absolutely strange …she kept asking questions like “do you see her often ? really? how long have you two met you? Really that much?”…

After the visit I told this story to person X and Y (the ones that I spend more time with). Person X said: “I think she was surprised that you had friends!” and person Y said “I think she doesn’t work with your friend and was just pretending” both opinions actually surprised me because Person X and Person Y perceive things very but VERY different from me.

Do you know what my theory was about that friend? Well I thought that “Maybe this friend from school had some sort of conflict with my old friend and was surprised that I was her friend…I don’t know if this theory was true…we’d never know…

Anyway, I realized that person X actually thinks so poor about my social skills and that person Y actually never understood the idea of the story. They perceive things SO different from me that I began to analyze how similar we were between the three, guess what? we were really different from each other and I may be actually the antagonist of person X and Y.

After analyzing them very well, I found that:

–          I love person X and Y but really don’t share the same values and beliefs. Every person must have its own values. You choose to believe and be honest to the values you’ve always had, just because your friends and family believe in other things, you are not going to change or to stop loving them right? You learn to accept them how they are, learn to live with them and YES! you remain faithful to yourself!


–          I hang out with person X and Y a lot of time but we don´t share the same passion for the same things. Each person is unique and therefore each of us will eventually find what we love to do and what we are passionate about, that´s intrinsic of ourselves. Other people will come and go in our lives but we always need to pursue our OWN goals and our OWN dreams, not the ones of the people around us.


–          It´s true that is better to be surrounded with people who are similar to you or like I read somewhere else…that have the same level of energy as you…but during our journey on this earth we´ve been given family and friends that are our beloved ones, but just because they don´t think like us, it doesn´t mean that we must let them go in search for others more alike, the true is that our personality and the way we forge it and the way we choose to direct our lives is JUST UP TO US and nobody else, so BE YOURSELF regardless of whom you are with! And cherish everybody around you because you can always learn things from everybody…

What do you think? Are you really the sum of the five people around you or are you just YOU?

Published by Carla Doria

Writer, blogger, traveler, mindful of a spiritual path (or at least trying to). I'm also a Happiness Engineer and support people building their websites.

2 thoughts on ““You are the result of the five people that hang out with you the most”….WRONG!

  1. Thanks chimcheey for your comment and I´m glad you liked the post and made you think 🙂 you made a very good point by saying that friends are actually a compliment of us 🙂
    My two friends are very close to me and I would never drift away from them, I guess we need to learn how to live between each other and like I said accept how they are and maybe learn from them because if I´m going to try to find someone exactly like me then I guess I would end up completely lonely and friendless….
    Thanks for your comment!


  2. I would consider myself a sum of the people around, while at the same time trying to be my own individual. This was a very interesting post, it got me thinking about a lot. You make a good point about cherishing the differences in others and learning from them; usually I just push away people from me when we don’t have anything in common…which is probably why I’m a “loner”..But, now that I think about it, there’s probably no single person out there exactly like me. Just as how your 2 friends aren’t just like you…has your friendship remained the same since you realized these differences between you and your friends? or have you found yourself drifting away now that you’ve realized these differences? From this post, I guess, friends are more of compliments to each other and not to be identical, which makes sense if you think about it.


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