The reasons of being lonely….


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The last posts I´ve been writing about inspirational and self-improvement topics, or at least that´s what I was trying to do, and I actually have managed to evade the “happy loner” topic for a time…

I´ve always told myself what a happy loner I am , and I am, really, but sometimes I can´t help but to question myself “why I am a loner”. I actually get this question many times from people that surround me.  I´m 32 and most people that I know are either married, getting married or in a happy relationship. Don´t take me wrong, I´m not against of relationships, but in some way I feel that I´m not ready yet….as silly as it sounds.

I´m so focused in achieving the life of my dreams, of doing the things that I´ve always wanted to do, that I actually feel that I couldn´t do good in a relationship. I would have to achieve at least a part of the goals that I´m trying to achieve right now. It´s like needing to find myself before sharing my life with another being….

For instance, I´m not ready yet to settle down and form a family. I want to do so many things for myself before I get to this part. I know, you may be saying, but you actually can do many of this stuff while you are in a relationship and you don´t have to sacrifice one thing for the other… well the thing is that I would actually need to find somebody who could fit in my life style…. and that´s a little hard…

And what is my life style? Well,  I´m working to get a working -nomad-traveling life style, I haven´t got there yet but I´m on my way to do so, that would mean that, at least, this person would have to have that same kind of free spirit… am I wrong? I haven´t met anybody like that in my social environment yet…

Su just patience, I tell myself, just enjoy the moment that I have, and take advantage of the many things that I can do while I´m in this “loner state”, after all, one has to get the most of every moment in life, right?

What do you think? Maybe some advice would be nice 🙂


Published by Carla Doria

Writer, blogger, traveler, mindful of a spiritual path (or at least trying to). I'm also a Happiness Engineer and support people building their websites.

5 thoughts on “The reasons of being lonely….

  1. I totally agree, I think that’s what makes a lot of people miserable or depressed, because a lot of us try to fit into the social “norm”. It’s like we are all sheep and everyone expects the people around them to all act a certain way in order to get along. It’s like you can’t find and keep friends and socialise unless you “fit” into the whole “group” thing, and I think the “group” phenomenon spreads as far out as to say the whole of society has many different levels of grouping, that you have to “belong” to these social groups in order to be seen as normal.

    Sorry, tried studying philosophy and love social studies etc… hehehe It’s all so wrong but so interesting at the same time…

    Basically if you don’t follow what your heart and mind tells you it’s very hard to be happy. If you are actually able to live the way you “know” is the only way for you to be happy, then stuff what anyone else expects of you. If you are dressed, fed safe and happy, what else do you need?

    Hey would either of you mind if I put some of this discussion in quotes on my blog? This is very interesting topic to be looked into and discussed further….? I would love to have persmission to link back here to your site specifically in apart of a post I’m inspired to add in today…


    1. Hi! Thank you very much for your comments! and yes of course, you can definetely quote from my blog and link back here as well, no problem at all, I actually feel very honored 🙂
      Yeah, I totally agree with your opinion about the social “norm”, that´s everywhere and it´s such a pity that society works like that…. But I´d rather be a loner and be myself than just trying to pretend to be other just to “fit” in some group 🙂


  2. If you’re happy being a traveling loner, what’s the problem? Just because others don’t understand your lifestyle doesn’t make it wrong. Too often we sacrifice our True Selves to conform to what others tell us is “normal” or “expected,” but the reality is that it takes all kinds to make the world go ’round and the most important gift we can give ourselves is happiness. Not all of us were meant to go through life two-by-two and trying to fit ourselves into that little box is deadly for our spirits.

    If YOU are happy with your life, that’s all that matters in the end. No one can expect to make another person happy if we are not happy ourselves. Who knows? You may meet that perfect mate on your travels an the wait will have been worth it 🙂


    1. Thank you very much for your comment! it´s very encouraging and it´s good to hear that not all people are meant to be in the same “normal” box as others. I´m still working on the nomad-traveler goal (that is getting the budget and the type of work that allows me to do this) but I´m most definetely sure that this is what I want to do in my life. Thank you very for your nice advice! 🙂


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